Mom's Driver's License!

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Mom's Driver's License!

Post by retired2 on Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:19 pm

Mom's Driver's License!
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.



' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'



'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.



'It's not polite.'



'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'



'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'



Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'



'That's enough questions, young lady!



Honestly!'



The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.



' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.



'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'



Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are.



You are 32.'



The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?



'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'



The mother is past surprised and shocked now.


'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'



'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'



'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'




'Because you got an F in sex.'



If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours.
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Re: Mom's Driver's License!

Post by retired2 on Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:20 pm

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that
he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he
has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have
some fun at the Irish cop's expense!

Irish cop says, License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law.
License and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and
stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me
go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says,
"Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? "
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