The Chauffeur

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The Chauffeur

Post by retired2 on Wed Mar 04, 2015 9:58 pm

The Chauffeur


After getting all of Pope Francis’ luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (that's 127.38109 mph for my American friends)

"Please slow down, Your Holiness," pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license... AND my job!" moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "A senator?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "The Prime Minister?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "God? What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "Because His chauffeur is the Pope!
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Re: The Chauffeur

Post by retired2 on Wed Mar 04, 2015 9:58 pm

A couple of older guys were playing golf when one mentioned that he was going to go to
Dr. Smith for a new set of dentures in the next morning.

His elderly buddy remarked that he too had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?", asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"

The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next
fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked
me right in the nuts."

The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"

"It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt!"
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Re: The Chauffeur

Post by Rick Wisson on Thu Mar 05, 2015 10:54 am

Liked the Pope.
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Re: The Chauffeur

Post by retired2 on Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:07 pm

But you didn't like the golfing one??Say it ain't sooo
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Re: The Chauffeur

Post by Rick Wisson on Thu Mar 05, 2015 1:13 pm

I like them all.
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