Dr. Epstein…could make you laugh...

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Dr. Epstein…could make you laugh...

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:14 pm

Dr. Epstein…could make you laugh...



Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town... and then left for Manhattan , where he quickly rose to the top of his field.
Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference, coincidentally held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor.
As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted.
The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the room and reverberated it down the hall.
He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper.
He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again.
Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under
the name of Levy and arrived under cover of darkness.
The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?"
Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here and received my education here, but then I moved away."
"Why haven't you visited..?" asked the desk clerk.
"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."
The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."
Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my incident."
"Was it a long time ago..?"
"Yes, many years."
The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Epstein Fart..?"
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Re: Dr. Epstein…could make you laugh...

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:17 pm

IRISH SUGAR TEST
One day an Irishman goes into the pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes
out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.
He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"
The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid
around and swallows it.
"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.
"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come
here and get my urine tested for sugar."
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Re: Dr. Epstein…could make you laugh...

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:18 pm

R.C.M.P.
A Mountie pulled a car over on the Trans
Canada about 2 miles West of Winnipeg.

When the Mountie asked the driver why he
was speeding, the driver answered that he
was a magician and a juggler and he was
on his way to Brandon to do a show that
night at the Shrine Circus and didn't
want to be late.

The Mountie told the driver he was just
fascinated by juggling, and if the driver
would do a little juggling for him then he
wouldn't give him a speeding ticket.
The driver told the Mountie that he had sent
all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have
anything to juggle.


The Mountie told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Mountie
got three flares, lit them and handed them to the
juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car
pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunk, good old boy, driving through from Alberta got out and watched the performance briefly.

He then went over to the patrol car, pulled opened
the rear door and then got in.

The Mountie observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied,
You might as well take me to jail ... "Cause there's no f#in` way I can pass that test"
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