******POWER OUTAGE******

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******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by retired2 on Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:04 pm

******POWER OUTAGE******
A gentleman reported the following:
"I had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, IPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat.
To top it off, it was raining so I couldn't go for a walk, bike or run.
The garage door opener needs electricity so I couldn't go anywhere in the car.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remember that this also needed power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by retired2 on Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:05 pm



WELCOME to the LESS

• Our Phones – Wireless
• Cooking – Fireless
• Cars – Keyless
• Food – Fatless
• Tires –Tubeless
• Dress – Sleeveless
• Youth – Jobless
• Leaders – Shameless
• Relationships – Meaningless
• Attitudes – Careless
• Babies – Fatherless
• Feelings – Heartless
• Education – Valueless
• Children – Mannerless
• Country – Godless

We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is CLUELESS,

And our MP is WORTHLESS !

I'm scared – Shitless




and




This is "Priceless"
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by retired2 on Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:05 pm

The Lost Keys...



After a meeting several days ago, I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA Pat Down." They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen." There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?" he barked, “I dropped you off!" Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said,"Well, come and get me." He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your car!"



Welcome to the golden years.........!
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by retired2 on Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:06 pm



I decided to go to the mixed religion seminar for the first time.


I sat down and then the Catholic Priest came up to me, laid his hands on my head and said:

"By the will of God the Almighty and Jesus Christ, you will walk today". I told him I was not paralyzed.

Then came the Pentecostal minister and laid his hands on me and said: “By the will of God the Almighty, you will walk today."
Again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

Then came the Muslim Imam and laid his hands on me and said:

“By the will of Allah the Almighty, you will walk today." Again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

Then came the Buddhist Monk and laid his hands on me and said: “By the will of Buddha, you will walk today." Again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After the prayers and sermons, I stepped outside and lo and behold, my Bike had been stolen...
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by observer on Sun Feb 08, 2015 11:04 pm

Good ones
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

Post by retired2 on Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:26 am

New ones are harder to come by all the time
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Re: ******POWER OUTAGE******

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