Potatoes

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Potatoes

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:17 pm

Potatoes


Well,
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

And finally they got married, and had a little Sweet Potato, which they called
'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going
out and getting Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally Mashed,

   and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of
   Tater Tots.

   Yam said not to worry,
   no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

   But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home
   And become a Couch Potato either.

   She would get
   Plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her
   Shoestring Cousins.

   When she went off to Europe ,
   Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam To watch out
   For the hard-boiled guys from Ireland .

   And the Greasy guys from France called the
   French Fries.
   And When she went out West,
   To Watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..

   Yam said she would stay on the straight and Narrow
   And Wouldn't Associate
   With Those high class Yukon Gold's,
   or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all
   The trucks that say,
   'Frito Lay.'

   Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University )
   so that when she graduated she'd really
   Be In the Chips.

   But in spite of all they did for Her,
   one-day Yam came home And announced she was
   Going to marry
   Peter Mansbridge.

   Peter Mansbridge!

   Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.

   They told Yam she couldn't possibly
   marry Peter Mansbridge Because he's just.......

   Are you ready for this?

   Are you sure?


   OK! ...........Here it is!















   A COMMON TATER!
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retired2
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Re: Potatoes

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:18 pm

Match
A redneck farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. "Heya, Wilbur," said Sam, the store owner. "Tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?"

"You betcha, Sam. Ain't no 'tother way. Why?"

"Got something to show you. Something to make fire. It's called a Match."

'Match? Never heard of it."

"Watch this. If you want a fire you just do this," Sam says, taking a match and striking it on his pants."

"Huh. Well, that's something, but that ain't for me, Sam."

"Well, why not?"



"I can't be walking twelve miles to borrow your pants every time I want a fire."
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Re: Potatoes

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:20 pm

Groundhog Day?

Gotta love those grand-kids ..

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,
What day is tomorrow?"

Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!" ..

She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presidents Day mean?" ..
I was waiting for her to say something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc.

She replied, "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the
White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bull Shit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Have a great day...............
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Re: Potatoes

Post by retired2 on Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:20 pm



As you know Welsh is a tricky language, perhaps too difficult for Blondes.

A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up, "I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales".
"Why do you think that?" he said.
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says "stit ruoy su wohs".
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