Dentist

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Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:30 pm

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Re: Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:31 pm

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:


"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"



The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant..

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia , New Zealand and Great Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
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Re: Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:32 pm



A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all on his
own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with
him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to
my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's has to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears?
Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist.
Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered... "Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming...
that was me."
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Re: Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:34 pm

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Re: Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:38 pm

Uncensored Bumper Stickers.....Read at own risk.

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

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21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

26. Illiterate? Write For Help

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off

28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles >From The Next Exit

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

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33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

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[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.

41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

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45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

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49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

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52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

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59. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

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63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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Re: Dentist

Post by retired2 on Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:34 pm

This is wrong, I just came from the dentist and it still hurt

retired2 wrote:
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Re: Dentist

Post by observer on Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:36 pm

Aaaahhhh! Sympathies r2!
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Re: Dentist

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